Is that a cucumber in your …

So the beginning of a trip through the Cucumber-files. Let’s start with the obvious. Innuendo and anything having a remotely sexual angle. The papers and web sites still have attention to attract, even if they’re short staffed, and presumably readers are more likely to be hot and bothered in the summer.

And basically, the sex angle always works.

‘Techno-doo-hickeys mean less sex‘ the always populist tabloid VG could reveal on its web site. After setting the rigorous scientific bar with the very first ‘word’, the second impression is that this really isn’t news, is it? I mean, as in not at all?

I said cucumbers

I am sure I have mentioned it before, but the summer lull that often results in rather bizarre news coverage, and which is known as the silly season in the UK, is called Cucumber News in Norway. Since almost everyone along the news supply chain has their numbers depleted by holiday leave, a certain laziness sets in, and a corresponding satisfaction with space-filling nonsense.

A bit like what moose news hunters feel like year round. So for me, this is in fact the high season for weird and wonderful news,

Royal life

The blog Elusive Moose does an admirable job of providing a steady stream of news and color from the self-imposed confines of Norway’s Østfold County. Sometimes it is worth remembering that even a very local view can produce a good yarn, and that even if you seem be blogging about moose, you don’t have to. Take where I live for example – Asker.

Crown Princess Mette-Marit in more formal greeting mode. (Photo: Jarle Vines (Creative Commons Attribution Sharealike 3.0))

Even ‘suburb’ sounds too urban. Even though it is just

Shopping spree

The roots of this blog go back to the fine moose tale. Over the years, you tend to think you have heard them all, as they crash into things, fly through the air and land on things, appear in odd places, scare people, get hit by things, and suffer the worst of luck. It’s always nice to see a new twist. Like a shopping moose.

The best moose tale of the summer so far

Creatures from the deep

It wouldn’t be summer without long, hot days and fishing tales. Of course exaggerated yarns about nearly landed whoppers are familiar fare. To make the news, you should catch a hideous monster accidentally and unexpectedly, and that is precisely what 11-year-old Nathalie Saxegård did.

A dealfish. Ick. (Photo: Sven O Kullander)

The youngster from Fredrikstad was on a fishing trip in scenic Vesterøy in Hvaler, when she spotted something odd in the water, newspaper Fredriksstad Blad’s web site f-b.no reports.

The dangers of sudden summer

Well, Iceland’s volcano is now supposedly running out of gas, so we can optimistically hope for a return to normal life. Not only has it been monopolizing headlines, but little Eyafjelljökull was threatening to continue muddling my travel plans for the unforeseeable future. Just two days ago researchers were talking about how flights here could

Scary sports

The Norwegian football season has begun, but since it is still early days all the attention is on things that really matter in sport, like the Champions League, whether or not the curling team can wear spectacular yet non-clown trousers, and picking up dog droppings off the artificial turf in Stavanger. No, the really interesting sports news here is in other disciplines.

And by interesting I mean terrifying.

The slightest excuse

Easter is really a celebration of springtime, and after a lengthy break with the last of the year’s snow in focus, what could be more typically Norwegian than … topless sledding.

OK, so maybe topless sledding isn’t yet the tradition that murder and quizzes are for Easter here, it certainly has potential. And the day before Easter is

Hey fool

So what kind of shenanigans did the Norwegian media get up to on the 32nd of March? Newspaper VG had the best overview of April Fools Day stories around the country.

Not sure if any are up to the standard set by the classic report that the state alcohol outlet Vinmonopol had such overstock that they were giving away booze – all you had to do was turn up with something to carry it away in, leading to long and eventually embarrassed queues of eager Norwegians bearing buckets and bathtubs.

This year’s crop:

Easter memories

On the subject of the extended Norwegian Easter hols, a couple of today’s news headlines brought back my own nightmare version of a traditional Easter ‘break’, and reinforces my preference for being one of the quiet celebration at home segment.

Not quite murder and skiing, but medical mayhem. And skiing in my case, though not the headlines.

“Woke up without nipples” screams